I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
