Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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