no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
