in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize