Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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