I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
