she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
