get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
