How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
