is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dicks are not precious.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
