Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
