i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
