Can Purell be used as lube?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
