Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
