Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
