I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
