I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize