Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
