Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize