So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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