You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
