He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
