Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
