Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
