I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
