Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
