Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My feet surprised me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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