I must be too annoying 4 u.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
