I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
