Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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