is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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