I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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