I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize