what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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