my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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