the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
