My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
