My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
