yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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