It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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