The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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