I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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