please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
