as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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