you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
