All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
