You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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