Do you still have your period?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
