Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
