New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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