Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
