I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
