plz talk dirty to me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
