you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
