I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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