Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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