our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
