i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
