Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
