Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Vodka?
Forever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
please don't ironically join a cult
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