I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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