I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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