i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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