I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
